Gift of Help

I admit it – I am terrible at asking for help. But I’m finally coming to realize that seeking assistance from others is absolutely vital in living our best lives.

I know I’m stubborn in this area and I’m sure part of it is a control issue. I want to do things myself because I want to feel like I’m in control of the timing of things. It has taken me a long time to recognize this is usually the long road to getting to where I want to go instead of the quickest path.

How about you? Are you good about seeking help from others who know more than you do about an area where you want to improve your life? If this is something you struggle with as well, maybe we can try to get better at this together!

Areas where you might want to seek help:

• Strengthening relationships
• Improving your health
• Increasing your fitness level
• Doing better in your finances
• Excelling in your career or finding one that is more rewarding
• Pursuing your dreams (which may include any or all of the above)

What are some additional reasons we (at least I) hesitate to ask for help?

• Embarrassed we can’t figure it out on our own
• Don’t want to spend the money if there is a cost to obtaining help
• Think it’s quicker to do it ourselves
• Don’t want to “bother” someone else

An example of where I didn’t initially have the courage to ask for help was with my desire to publish a novel. After spending large amounts of time writing a first draft, the neatly printed manuscript sat hidden in a drawer for far longer than I care to admit because I had no clue what to do with it. I was afraid. Afraid of so many things related to that innocent looking stack of paper.

When we aren’t willing to ask for help, there are risks:

• We remain stuck, we settle
• Stress and worry can build when we can’t figure things out on our own
• We  may become more and more withdrawn
• We may miss out on numerous opportunities because we can’t get past a hurdle or we don’t know how to move ahead

Possible resources to consider for help:

• Friends and Family
• Local Professionals
• Online Resources

Our worlds are so much larger now because of the internet. I know I’ve mentioned this before but the opportunities this represents for everyone with access to the web is mind boggling. Before computers, we needed to have physical accessibility to someone in order to get their help. Maybe a telephone call was feasible but that has limitations. Now, someone on the other side of the country, or the world, might be able to help.

Personally, when I finally decided it was time to do something with that manuscript sitting in my drawer, I joined Self-Publishing School, an online course designed for this very purpose. I remember feeling elated but sick to my stomach when I signed up online and entered my credit card number. This was by far the largest investment I’d ever made online. Would I regret it? Please understand, this was not a spur of the moment purchase. I’d researched and observed this company for two years before committing. Just like with anything else, it’s on us to do our homework and make sure things are legitimate. Now, a year and a half later, I have no regrets.

It takes courage to ask for help. As I continue on my journey of getting better at seeking help from others, I’ll try to keep these ten things in mind:

1. No one is perfect and everyone can benefit from asking for help. I’m no different from anyone else in this respect.
2. There are people out there who have made it their life’s work to learn all they can about an area where I might be struggling. I shouldn’t expect to be as proficient at something I’ve never studied as someone else that has already committed so much to learning all they can about a subject.
3. If someone has dedicated time and energy to learning how to do something and they can help me in that area, I will gladly pay them for their services. Together everyone benefits.
4. If I don’t know someone that can help, I can find someone that can help. They may be local or they may be online. Both sources of assistance can be beneficial.
5. I refuse to be afraid to try something new. Someone is out there that is willing to help me figure out all the pieces. It is up to me to find them and to ask.
6. Even if I’m scared to ask for help on something, I need to push through that fear and ask. What is the worst thing that can happen? If they can’t help me, someone else can.
7. It isn’t always fastest to do it myself!
8. Be open to seeking guidance and assistance in numerous areas of my life. For some reason, for example, I can easily ask for help with my finances but not my fitness.
9. Find ways to encourage others to be brave enough to ask for help when they need it.
10. I will pay it forward. How can I help others where they might be struggling? Where can I use my own life experiences to help others live a better life?

 
I have a challenge for you. Right now, before you do anything else, think about one area of your life where you are less than satisfied with things. Why is this? Do you feel stuck? Do you need encouragement or maybe even someone to help hold you accountable? Why not find that someone today? Nothing like the present! Live that life you truly deserve,   Kim