When we find ourselves at the beginning of a brand-new calendar year, it can feel like we have a massive block of time stretching out before us and plenty of days, weeks, and months to accomplish everything we’d like to do. But when that same calendar flips over to December, we often wonder how the year could have come and gone so quickly.

Our days fill up with the minutia of life. Depending on your hopes and goals, that may be just fine. If you are precisely where you want to be in the many different facets of your life, you probably don’t feel the need to do any planning for the upcoming year. But if there are areas in your life where you’d like to make some changes, now may be the perfect time to put a game-plan in place to be sure you accomplish all you hope to in 2019.

I love to spend time during the last week of the year, brainstorming about all the things I'd like to bring into fruition in the year ahead. The calendar provides a framework. I start with my big, broad goals. Then I begin to figure out a timeline and break it down to what I need to do by month to pull it all off. I buy a new planner, and I start to fill it up.

There is one thing I know for sure about my goals. This may or may not apply to you, too, depending on your style. I will let life interfere if I don’t put a plan in place and commit to following it as closely as possible.

The past two months illustrate exactly what happens for me every time. I went into November with a big, audacious goal and a plan as to how I was going to achieve it. My mind was made up. I would compete in NANOWRIMO, and this year I wouldn't fail. NANOWRIMO is National Novel Writing Month and participants "win" if they write at least 50,000 words on a novel. I knew the only way I'd be able to accomplish this was if I wrote at least 2,000 words a day, without fail. This would provide some cushion "just in case." I work full-time, had a work travel trip planned, and also had the Thanksgiving holiday to pull off. It would be tough. It would require early mornings, late nights, and minimal downtime. But we can all do anything for thirty days, right?

I was part of an accountability group throughout November where we posted our number of words written every day. Because I’m a tad bit competitive (wink, wink), this helped keep me on track. I didn’t feel like I was competing against anyone other than myself, but there is something about public accountability that can help.

And I did it. There was a rhythm to the month. It was tiring and exhilarating at the same time. By November 30th, I was exhausted and looking forward to a slightly less structured month of December. Put in other terms, after a crazy November, I coasted into December without much in the way of a weekly and daily plan. It’s been a fun month, although not very productive as far as my writing goes. But I don’t beat myself up over it. We need to have periods of rest and fun. It’s what makes all the hard work worth it. In fact, as I head into 2019, I’ll structure my time so I can try to do the same thing next December. But that means more focus and planning for January through November if I still want to accomplish my goals. And I do. Because they are my goals. Not something someone else is telling me I need to do. That is true freedom to me.

Of course, much of my time will be dictated by others. We'll have goals at my day job and I'll contribute. But that's only for eight hours or so of my day. That leaves at least another eight hours each day when I'm not sleeping. Some of those hours will be enjoyed with family and friends. The rest will be mine to do with as I like.
​

I’m not a fan of the term Resolution. The formal definition of the word “resolution” is a firm decision to do or not to do something and the action of solving a problem, dispute or contentious matter. To me, if I have to resolve to do something, it feels like there is a negative connotation to it. Like I have to give something up. While that usually is part of achieving any goal, for example, giving up free time or even dessert depending on what your goals are, it doesn’t feel inspiring.

Instead of resolving to do things in the year ahead, I’m choosing a growth mindset. Growth always requires effort and change. It will be uncomfortable. But depending on the frame of mind you keep when you travel through times of growth and change, it can also be incredibly inspiring and rewarding.
​
There are always going to be things in our lives that we can't control. If you want to find an excuse, it's easy. If instead, you want to adopt a healthy, no-matter-what attitude, it's rewarding. The key is to focus on the things we can control. We can either float along, wherever life takes us, and complain when we don’t like it, or we can decide to make the most of the things we do have control over.

One of the most natural things to do in life is to make an excuse. I don’t have time, I don’t have the money, I have little kids, etc. etc. etc. And any or all of those things may be true. But you also have blessings and possibilities surrounding you every day. It all boils down to what you want and what you’re willing to work for.

I have to bite my tongue when I hear people say things like "I'd like to but I don't have time" or "I'm too busy." I have to make a conscious effort not to say the same thing. It is all about priorities. I don’t mean to sound cold or naive. There will always be people facing enormous, life-altering challenges and my heart goes out to them. They honestly can't do all the things they'd like to do because of their individual circumstances. Life can be hard.

Life is short. Too short. The cold hard truth is you will never accomplish all the things you dream of doing if you coast through life and make excuses. Instead, decide what you want to experience in the year ahead and figure out how to make it happen. Maybe you want to get healthier, find work that is more rewarding, or spend more quality time with family.

Do it!

When you get out of bed in the morning, decide to throw all of your excuses out the window and instead focus on a growth mindset.

I hope this post doesn't all sound too preachy. I just want each and every one of you to find more joy and satisfaction out of your lives. It takes effort and a can-do attitude. It's up to you to structure your days to write the story of your own life. If you leave it up to chance or to someone else, I doubt you’ll get the results you desire. 
​

For me, my goals for the coming year include reaching more people through my writing, learning more, spending quality time with loved ones, and my health. There are so many ways to accomplish all these things that it can feel overwhelming. Sometimes when we are overwhelmed with choices, we have a tendency to shut down. I’ll need to put structure behind these goals. What might this look like?

For example, how do I "learn more" and what will make me feel like I've succeeded a year from now? Personally, I've brainstormed on areas where I'd like to become better informed and will focus on one of those things each month. By next December, I'll know more about twelve different areas I feel are important to me. The next step is to figure out what I might do to improve my knowledge in each area. It will probably be a combination of some type of training and then applying what I learned. The training may be a book, an online course, or attending something in person. Then I need to do something with my new-found knowledge to help make it "stick" before I move on to the next thing.

Keep it fun and inspiring. Focus on why you are doing something. Growth and change are hard work. Keep your eye on the prize. Don’t give yourself a pass because you might be too old, too poor, too _____ (fill in the blank). Those are just excuses.

A year is a nice block of time to accomplish many things. What do you want to do with this gift of time? Ignore the naysayers that joke about how making resolutions is a waste of time. Instead, figure out your goals and then how you will accomplish them. Write it down! Enjoy the process of planning out the coming year and then get busy.

Thanks for letting me share my passion for the importance of goal setting. Give yourself a taste of success and watch as the whole world opens up before you. No more excuses. When you stumble, pick yourself up and brush yourself off, but keep going. You will never regret trying. Even if you don't immediately succeed, you'll learn.

​Let’s do this!    Kim

I admit I’m a bit of a nut when it comes to Christmas. I love the decorations, the music, the corny holiday shows… The list goes on and on.

But despite how much I love the season, I head into December with a tiny knot of dread in the pit of my stomach and usually breathe a sigh of relief when it’s over. I suspect I’m not alone. Because let’s admit it—celebrating the season can be a lot of work! We often try to accomplish more than we have time for and end up scrambling at the last minute.     

Everyone’s idea of “celebrating” looks different. I suspect much of how we celebrate has its foundation in how we each experienced the holidays while growing up. Not always, but often.

For us, Christmas meant tons of decorations, lots of family time, attending Mass at our beautiful hometown church, and gift exchanges. We were lucky to grow up in the same town as our grandparents. Even as they grew old and frail, we’d be sure to bring them to Mom and Dad’s to celebrate with everyone. When our children were young, we were blessed to have four generations around the dinner table, enjoying the same menu that had been served for years.

Many people struggle over the holidays. Joy can be hard to find when you are missing someone or going through difficult times. I suspect all of us will have years where the lights don’t seem to shine quite as brightly. Our heart isn’t in it.

Maybe those are the times when we need the magic of the holidays the most. 
​

What if we lower our expectations and find joy in the little things? Forget about trying to make everything perfect. I bet no one will notice if you don’t bake that fourth kind of cookie. Or if they do, they’ll appreciate the treats even more if you bake them next year. If you want to get cards out but it’s looking like they won’t get delivered until after New Year’s, send them anyhow. It's never too late to say ‘hello' and let people know you're thinking of them. Slap some wrapping paper on those last few presents you haven’t yet gotten around to and don’t worry if the edges don’t quite meet or there isn’t a ribbon in sight.

Instead of fretting about those pesky details you haven’t gotten to yet, brew your favorite cup of tea or coffee and put on some soft Christmas music. Munch on one of the cookies you did get around to baking or have an Oreo. Pull out an old photo album and enjoy a trip down memory lane. Better yet, any chance you have some old videos from Christmas past? How fun would it be to watch those?

If Christmas arrives before you get to the end of your ‘to-do’ list, let it go. Think back to some of your favorite things about the holidays and do those instead.
​

Now it’s time for true confessions: that last batch of cookies, a few unwrapped gifts, and a pile of cards are all waiting for me on the kitchen island and Christmas Eve is only a day and a half away. I’m trying to remember to have fun.

Last night was a great start. We enjoyed a wonderful dinner with old friends. All of our kids were with us, and we even recreated an old photo of them all, initially taken years ago. Suffice it to say sitting on each other's laps wasn't as awkward when they were eight!

Those are the experiences we should strive for over the holidays. Time with family and friends, making more memories. Because there will be times when those memories will keep us warm.

And in the tiny open spaces over the next few days, I vow to make time for the following:

• A drive through our neighborhood to enjoy all the pretty Christmas lights
• I’ll take off my glasses and squint at the Christmas tree, enjoying the fuzzy beauty of my surroundings (if you are blessed with good eyesight this is one area where you are missing out, but if you've done this before, you'll know what I mean!)
• Walk over to the sledding hill with the kids, even if its cold outside
• Watch the old, animated Rudolph and Frosty movies
• Enjoy a Tom & Jerry hot drink with only a splash of brandy (I don’t like it if I can taste the alcohol)
• Sit by the fireplace and read one of the two new Christmas novels I ordered but haven’t glanced at yet   
• Coerce my family into playing a game of whist

Even thinking about doing these little things makes me smile and I can feel my anxiety over what isn’t yet done slip away.

And during that space of time between Christmas and New Year’s, I’ll take some time to reflect on this past year and look ahead to the next. For me, it’s been a year of milestones, growth, struggling to acclimate to life without my own mom, and hope for the future. As each new year starts, I love to think about the possibilities and then plan how I want to turn some of those possibilities into realities.

But for now, the time has come to relax and enjoy the magic of the season. I invite you to make the most of this brief window of time to feel the love of family and friends, both near and far, and even if you can now only visit them in your memories. Find some quiet time, a favorite chair, and give yourself permission to feel the magic of the holidays.

​Wishing you the very best,   Kim  

​How many choices would you say you make in a single day? Would it be safe to say we make thousands of choices between the time we wake up and the time we go to bed?
 
We have to decide what time to get up, what to wear, what to eat, and the list goes on and on. Much of our days are spent doing things we decided to do a long time ago.
 
Yesterday, our middle child graduated from college, following in her older brother’s footsteps. Needless to say, we are incredibly proud of all the hard work she’s put in to reach this milestone. The number of decisions it took for her to reach this point is almost mindboggling. All along the way, she had to choose whether or not to do the things she had to do if she wanted to earn a college degree.
 
As we watched the many graduates file into the auditorium, garbed in their caps and gowns, I couldn’t help but marvel at both the efforts it took for each of them to reach that point but also the endless possibilities stretching out before them. Most are at the very beginning of what will become their life
work. Some are charting a new course for themselves, making a choice to do something different.

I wondered how many of them knew what their next step would be. How many will find work in their chosen field? Would they like it once they were out there, working in the real world?
 
I have to admit, a tiny part of me even felt a twinge of jealousy. What would it be like to be twenty-something again, with nearly unlimited options ahead of me?
 
But it didn’t take me long to remember how scary it felt. Endless choices can be overwhelming and more than a little scary. Back then, the choices didn’t feel endless.
 
I also like to think I’ve learned a thing or two through the years since I last stood there in a cap and gown. Life teaches us all so much. Some of those lessons are best learned one time. Some are so painful I’d prefer never to have to repeat them.
 
So while I wouldn’t want to be twenty-two again, are there some things I wish I would have known then that I know now? Silly question, right?!
 
•   I would tell my younger self to take more chances. To not always make the safest, least risky choice.
•   I would assure my younger self I was smart enough and strong enough to take on big challenges and not settle.
•   I would work harder to maintain those relationships in life that meant the most to me. I’d hug more and argue less. I’d let petty things go and find joy in the little things.
•   I’d move more and sit less. And I’d definitely dance more.
•   I would stress less about specific work tasks. It was never worth it.
•  I’d warn myself that the endless list of tiny choices I’d make, day in and day out, would ultimately result in the quality of my life. It’s seldom the biggest choices we make, that seem so monumental at the time, that impact us the most.

Wow, I’d have been so much smarter if I could have shared all of this with my twenty-two-year-old self! But the reality is that even if that were possible, it might not have made any difference. Because until we live these things ourselves, and truly appreciate the impact of the choices we make, we won’t take someone else’s word for it. While the years may not always be kind to us, the lessons we pick up along the way will be invaluable.
 
We can’t go back. I wouldn’t want to go back. But we don’t have to. None of us are really much different from all those graduates standing in that auditorium yesterday. We all have endless possibilities before us. We just have to open our eyes to them. There are blessings in the hard-won wisdom we possess by the time we’re fifty-two instead of twenty-two. We know it’s better if we chose the wheat bread over the white bread and the vegetables over the chocolate. It’s better to find work we love than suffer through work that pays better. And relationships are worth fighting for, even on those days when you might not like the other person all that much.
 
It’s all about making better choices. And that’s hard to do until you have your own life experiences to draw upon.
 
Since I can’t go back and tell my twenty-two-year-old-self anything, I’ll instead remind my fifty-two-year-old self of a few essential things:
•    Choose joy, every day.
•    Choose love.
•    Choose the people and things that make me smile.
•    Choose peace.
•    Choose to be uncomfortable, even scared, if it means pursuing something important.
 
Having the gift of choice is a blessing. Choose wisely as often as you can, and when you stumble because of a poor choice, forgive yourself and chalk it up to some more of that hard-earned wisdom. Choose better next time.
 
Challenge yourself and encourage others. And please forgive me, but as a proud parent, I have to add one last note. As I finish writing today’s post, our youngest just popped into the room to tell us she got accepted into the top two colleges of her choice. Now she has a choice to make. The circle of life continues.
 
Always in your corner, cheering you on!   Kim

One of the greatest gifts in life can be to have the ability to believe in things we cannot see. Belief in the power of love. Belief in each other. Belief in ourselves. Belief that when we trudge through dark days, it will get better.
 
Belief is magical. Belief can also be a fragile concept, easily lost. And when belief deserts us, life can lose much of its sparkle.
 
When you think back to when you were a child, what did you believe in? Ghosts? Santa? The Easter Bunny? The Tooth Fairy? Now, as adults, some of those things seem more than a little ridiculous. But for a child, these symbolic figures may be at the very heart of many holidays and milestones in life. After all, losing your first tooth is a huge deal. 

When each of our children reached the stage where they no longer believed it was Santa Claus eating the cookies left out on Christmas Eve, I knew a part of their childhood innocence was gone forever. Personally, I’ve never truly given up entirely on Santa Claus. I love the ideas he represents. Generosity, magic, and the incentive to be good. For me, the magic isn’t found in the concept of receiving presents, although a five-year-old may not agree with me.
 
Belief is described as something one accepts as true or real; a firmly held opinion or conviction.
 
Many people keep their own personal beliefs to themselves. History is littered with examples of where sharing one’s own beliefs resulted in ridicule, or worse. Sadly, the world is full of people quick to judge or persecute. I suspect each of you has experienced this in some way.
 
Having belief is vitally important in every area of our life. After all, if you don’t believe something is possible, you’ll remain stuck exactly where you are at right now.
 
You’d never take any chances if you didn’t believe something different, something better, was possible. Why study in school if you don’t believe knowledge can take you places? Why bother to work through the inevitable struggles a relationship will face if you don’t believe in the joy you’ll find in love and friendship?
 
To change anything, you must have belief. To love, you must have belief. To heal, you must have belief.
Belief in the little things is as important as belief in the most significant things.
 
It’s easy to believe in things we can see. But what if you dream of building or creating something new? It’s much harder to believe in things that don’t yet exist. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be the one to bring them into existence. It all starts with belief.
 
If belief is so important, what can we do to both grow and protect our own beliefs? There are no easy answers.
 
Believe in those things that will make this world a better place for everyone. Watch for signs that will help strengthen your belief.

Imagine my surprise, the weekend of our son’s wedding, when my flower pot took on the shape of a heart. I promise you there was no trimming. This was all nature. A sign perhaps that we should all believe in the magic of love and the promise of happily ever after? I like to think so.
 
The holidays are a time to celebrate some of the many special things we believe in. We do this through decorations, music, and generosity. We prepare favorite foods and enjoy spending time with close friends and family. I am most familiar with Christmas traditions, but I appreciate others have their own traditions they follow in celebration of their beliefs. There is Hanukkah and Kwanzaa. Some celebrate the Winter Solstice. There are many other celebrations, too.
 
If you begin to feel overwhelmed by trying to fit in too much this month, close your eyes and take a deep breath. Remember to focus on what are the most essential beliefs behind your own celebrations. Bring to mind special memories of years gone by. It is often the smallest of details that become special with time. It might not have even seemed all that special when you were experiencing it, but now it’s a precious memory you hope to hold on to forever.
 
Find a simple way to make a new, special memory today. Set your big to-do list to the side for a bit and maybe bake a batch of cookies with a child. Call up an old friend you haven’t spoken to for a while. Stick an extra dollar or two in the red kettle. There will always be people that need your help.
 
Hoping you are finding a little magic in every day. Smile when you notice a small sign and find comfort in your beliefs.     Kim