Gift of Gratitude - A Mother's Day Message

As a mother, I know one of my main responsibilities in life is to help instill wisdom in my own kids. Life is complicated but learning healthy ways to handle the unexpected curves inevitably thrown our way can make all the difference. Who better than moms to teach children what is truly important in life? Don’t misunderstand me. Fathers play a very important role as well, but today is Mother’s Day so it’s all about the ladies!

My mom taught me immeasurable lessons throughout my lifetime. This year, instead of searching for a gift for her for Mother’s Day, I’m searching my heart and bringing to mind all of the precious guidance she gave me and passing some of it on to you. A gift of a Mother’s Day message, you might say, from my mother… to me… and on to you.
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​Some of the many lessons I learned from Mom:

     Mom taught us that life starts at home. Home is wherever your family is. Nothing is more important than family. Not money… not prestige… nothing.

     Family is based on strong relationships that grow and evolve over time. There will be bumps and setbacks. There will be fights and disappointments. If you can weather the storms all relationships face, you may find yourself blessed to have someone by your side, loving you and caring for you all the way through to the very end. Walking away is sometimes the easy, short term fix but be sure you know what you are walking away from before you give up too quickly.
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     Family extends beyond blood relations to include those special friends that touch your heart and whose lives become forever entwined with yours. Those special friends may have entered your life in grade school, high school, at your first job, at your last job or anywhere else in your life’s journey. What makes them special is that inexplicable bond that never fades, no matter how much time passes. When you have friends like this, hold them tight in your heart. They too will be there in times of need…as you will be for them. Mom was blessed with many of these very special friends. 

     Work needs to provide more than just money to pay the bills. It should be a way to make this world a better place. Throughout much of my life, I shared my mom with countless others. As a social worker, mainly working with high school kids, my mom touched so many lives. I was lucky enough to call her “Mom” but they were fortunate to also hold a special place in her heart. She saved lives. She turned lives around. The love she had for her job and the kids she served was incredible. Years after she retired, people would still come up to her and thank her for being the turning point they needed in their lives. I would listen in awe.

     Keep fun in your life. Go watch kids play high school basketball and cheer your heart out. Mom was often the loudest fan in the stands, much to my dismay when I was still in school. Play cards with your friends, go dancing with your husband, enjoy the great outdoors playing golf or walking with your girlfriends. Put some fun into every single day. 

     Pass on family traditions. Decorate your home to celebrate the seasons and spoil your kids and grandkids at Christmas. Don’t buy them things anytime they want something. It isn’t about spoiling them or “buying” their love. But make the holidays truly special.

     Be responsible. Work hard and provide for your family. Know that there are so many people in this world with far less than you are blessed with. Never look down on people. Mom used to say some of her favorite people were the kids in school that others had given up on. She always saw the good in people. Help others when you can. Remember… everyone has a story.

     Take care of your health. Get some kind of physical exercise most every day and watch what you eat. One evening cocktail before dinner each night won’t kill you. Don’t get drunk and act like an idiot.

     Take some chances in life. Support your kids. When they are grown and on their own, never laugh at their ideas as they search for new ways to earn a living or find more joy in life. Be that sounding board, that voice of wisdom and that cheerleader. Don’t be a naysayer.

     Live life by example. Show, don’t tell. Earn the respect of people through the way you live your own life and then set high expectations of them as well. No one will want to disappoint you. You can’t demand respect, you have to earn it.

     Take care of your parents as they age. Mom did this for her own parents. Her sisters lived far away so care taking mainly fell to her. It was hard but she seldom complained.

     And finally, if you are ever faced with the heartbreak of a debilitating illness, fight the good fight. Try conventional medicine. Try unconventional approaches. Dig deep for your faith in things beyond this world, even if that faith might have gotten a little rusty over the years. Accept the fact that none of us live forever, even when those around you can’t.

Life is so much better when you spend it helping others, having fun, giving grace,and nurturing younger generations.
 
I could fill pages with all the things I learned from Mom. I will continue to share her wisdom because my thoughts and outlook on life were shaped in large part by her. She lives on in me. In all of us that were blessed to know her.

So on this very first Mother’s Day without my own mom, I vow to focus on the many gifts she gave me instead of wallowing in the heartache I feel over her absence. I will hug my own children tight, thank God for my many blessings, and enjoy this special day dedicated to celebrating those that gave us life. Thank you, Mom. I love you.
 
I encourage you to take some of Mom's teachings to heart. If you are lucky enough to spend time with your own mother today, enjoy! If you are a mother, or if you play the role of a strong female presence in someone else's life, know how special that is and that you are loved. Blessings to you all,   Kim