​Heading into the Labor Day weekend, I thought it would be appropriate to spend a little time talking about that “thing” many of us spend at least eight hours a day, five days a week, week in and week out, doing. The Labor Day holiday is meant to be a little respite from our work routine. I was curious how people might be feeling about their “day jobs” so I did a little research.

I stumbled across a report put out by the Pew Research Center on 9/1/16. Now please, bear with me. I’ll spare you the pain of throwing a ton of stats at you!  The article by Drew Desilver is titled “10 facts about American workers”. Most of these sparked my interest and I thought it might be fun to share my thoughts on them. Nothing formal here – just my gut reaction to some of the items on the list. 

According to the report, there are over 150 million Americans in the workforce.

Most workers are in the service sector. 
• When I think “service sector”, my mind immediately goes to those hard-working people working in restaurants. But reading through the article, I noticed a huge chunk of this sector, almost 23MM people, are in the education and health services fields. Other groups mentioned included professional and business services, retail, and government workers. I tip my hat to all of you. You teach us, keep us alive, put clothing on our backs and keep our communities safe. Thank you! 

Three in ten jobs in the US are held by the self-employed and their employees. Of the 15 million self-employed, only 25% of them had employees, and those that do only have a few.
• Working for yourself is not for the faint-of-heart. As glamorous as “being your own boss” sounds, we all know it is a LOT of hard work and it is up to YOU to keep the lights on. I admire every single one of you in this category of workers. Your tenacity and vision are the backbone of many communities. If anybody deserves to kick back and relax this holiday weekend – it’s you.

Millennials now make up the largest group in the labor force.
• If you were born between 1981 and 1996 (putting you between 22 and 37 right now), you fall in the Millennial group. While I realize there are dangers to “labeling” people by something as broad as the year they were born, I do think the research around the differences between the various generational categories is fascinating. I think most people would agree that this group of young adults is reshaping the worlds in which we live and work. They bring new skill sets, new points of view and new habits to the table. They have never known a world without computers and cell phones. They’ve witnessed how their parents or grandparents have fared during their careers and are changing those areas where they didn’t like what they saw happening to their loved ones. Folks, the world of work is changing…

The US gender wage gap is smaller among younger workers.
• The fact that we are even still having to talk about this makes my blood boil. Can we ignore it? No, we can’t. But we can fight against it. Fight to get paid what you’re worth. If you face gender discrimination (or any other kind of discrimination), take steps to rectify the situation. If it can’t be “fixed” where you are, it might be time to move on. Don’t make it easy for someone else to treat you unfairly. 

The wage gap between those employees holding degrees and those without is the widest it’s been in decades.
• Fair? Sometimes… but not always. True? I’m sure it is. I tell kids all the time: if you can figure out a way to make it work, go get that degree. It’s your “ticket to play”. Even if you end up doing something unrelated to your degree, it can get you through some doors that would otherwise remain locked to you. Where there is a will there is a way.

Teen employment has fallen in recent decades.
• I found this one interesting only because I hadn’t really thought about it in this context. When I was growing up, I worked part-time gigs. It was what we did. Selling burgers at Randy’s and scooping hard ice-cream at Haugen’s Ice Cream Parlor was certainly not glamorous work but I learned invaluable lessons during my younger years in those entry level jobs. Lots of kids still do this but I suspect the study is accurate and not as many are making time for jobs. Kids today have a ton of options as to how to spend their time. Some choices they make actually preclude them from doing other things. Participation in some sports, for example, can be all-consuming, leaving kids little time for jobs. 

Yes, one could argue that kids learn many great lessons participating in these extracurricular activities. I agree. But just make sure kids also learn how to support themselves. After all, they will be running things down the road. Equip them with all the skills they’ll need to be successful.

More older Americans are working. In May of 2016, nearly 9 million Americans ages 65 and older (18.8% in that age group) reported being employed full or part-time.
• Reading this, I wonder how many are doing this because they want to. I fear most are still working out of necessity. I don’t see this improving in coming years either. We all know too well the doomsday predictions around lack of savings for the golden years.

On the positive side, there are some real benefits to seniors remaining in the workforce past what has traditionally been considered “retirement age”. There are huge health benefits to staying active and engaged. Feeling useful and contributing to the world around us, either through paid work or volunteerism, can help people stay young-at-heart.


Just like other aspects of our lives, the working world is complicated. We should all strive to find work we enjoy because it consumes much of our precious time here on this earth. All jobs are important. In every line of work, you will find dedicated people that love what they are doing and disheartened folks who keep showing up to collect a paycheck for as long as they can get away with it. I hope you fall in the first group. If too often you find yourself in the second group, find something you do want to spend your time doing. “It ain’t all about the money folks!”

To those of you enjoying a long weekend off from work – relax and know you’ve earned it. To those of you retired from the daily grind, you’ve earned some r&r as well! 

​And please, check back next week for some exciting updates! Kim

One of my favorite weekend get-a-ways are girl’s shopping weekends. In fact, I’m looking forward to another one right now.

These trips have evolved over the years. As young women, we’d leave the kids home with the dads and head to Minneapolis for lots of shopping, laughing and wine. Back then, we had to go to the bigger cities to find our favorite stores. Friendships were strengthened during those trips. There was laughter, sometimes tears, lots of sharing and plenty of memories made. It was rare to steal time without kids underfoot or guys around, so those were special times.

There were also a few trips where we tried to bring infant and toddler girls along. One outing involved newborns, nursing moms, poop on an outlet store floor and an overheated Suburban. That is a story for another day! Another trip included a tea party at the American Girl store, complete with dolls and ponytails. Lots of fun but not much true “shopping” and not nearly enough wine.

Then the trips morphed into traveling around the kids' activities. Still fun, and still squeezing in some brief shopping, but not the kind of girl time we’d come to appreciate. Everyone was too busy for a “ladies only” weekend.

Now those little girls we used to shop for during our weekends away are finishing up their high school and even their college years. They are blossoming into beautiful young women and are so fun to be around. Our upcoming trip will include my two sisters-in-law, four girl cousins, and two hotel rooms (because we will all appreciate both togetherness and space).

So, what is it about these weekends that make them so fun to look forward to, a blast to experience, and a source of wonderful memories? I think it’s all about the companionship. It’s a chance to reconnect, to visit, to share. Our girls are growing up fast and going off in different directions. We have to make the most of these special times.

I think it is so important for women to celebrate our relationships, support each other, and nourish each other’s’ strength. As a writer, I like to weave themes of strong women into my stories. One of my all-time favorite quotes embodies this sentiment:

​Now, take a minute and re-read those words. I truly feel all women should strive to be strong role models for the younger generations. If I were given the opportunity to sit down over a cup of coffee or glass of wine with a young woman, I’d love to share some of the things I’ve learned through my many years. Things like:

*  I would be honest about some of my own mistakes so that perhaps she would  learn from me and not repeat them herself.

*  I’d tell her to work to surround herself with a network of family and friends so she wouldn’t find herself alone on the dark days and have others to share the good times with too.

*  There are all kinds of strength in this world. No one’s life is perfect. Strong people battle through the difficulties in life and come out on the other side.  

​*  I’d encourage her to strive to be an individual, not a conformist, to design her own life and don’t let the dreams of others derail her own.

*  Help build other women up. We all make choices every day and we aren’t operating in a vacuum.  Others are watching. It isn’t so much caring what others think about us as it is showing them how wonderful life can be when you make good choices. Be the example of what is right and good in this world.

*  Be the heroine, not the victim.

*  It’s okay to cry, but when you’re done, pick yourself up, find your smile, and move on.

*  Decide what it is you want to focus on in life and then get started. No excuses.

*  Manners are still important. Say “please”, “thank you”, and always hold the door for others.

*  Stay classy. That in itself will make you unique.

*  If you are going to let loose and maybe drink a few too many, don’t do it in public. Surround yourself with friends you trust to help keep you safe. And don’t do it often.

*  It seems everyone is getting a tattoo these days. Be careful where you put it and never permanently scar your body with someone else’s name (of course the name of your own child or grandchild might be an exception).  I hear it hurts more and costs more to take off a tattoo then to put it on so don’t be rash.  

I could go on and on, but suffice it to say, having the chance to spend time with some of my favorite girls this weekend will undoubtedly be a joy. I’ll try to sneak in a few words of wisdom, and likely receive a few eye-rolls in return, but we should never forget the younger girls are watching.

Set a good example, straighten your crown and stay classy!    Kim

I admit it – I am terrible at asking for help. But I’m finally coming to realize that seeking assistance from others is absolutely vital in living our best lives.

I know I’m stubborn in this area and I’m sure part of it is a control issue. I want to do things myself because I want to feel like I’m in control of the timing of things. It has taken me a long time to recognize this is usually the long road to getting to where I want to go instead of the quickest path.

How about you? Are you good about seeking help from others who know more than you do about an area where you want to improve your life? If this is something you struggle with as well, maybe we can try to get better at this together!

Areas where you might want to seek help:

• Strengthening relationships
• Improving your health
• Increasing your fitness level
• Doing better in your finances
• Excelling in your career or finding one that is more rewarding
• Pursuing your dreams (which may include any or all of the above)

What are some additional reasons we (at least I) hesitate to ask for help?

• Embarrassed we can’t figure it out on our own
• Don’t want to spend the money if there is a cost to obtaining help
• Think it’s quicker to do it ourselves
• Don’t want to “bother” someone else

An example of where I didn’t initially have the courage to ask for help was with my desire to publish a novel. After spending large amounts of time writing a first draft, the neatly printed manuscript sat hidden in a drawer for far longer than I care to admit because I had no clue what to do with it. I was afraid. Afraid of so many things related to that innocent looking stack of paper.

When we aren’t willing to ask for help, there are risks:

• We remain stuck, we settle
• Stress and worry can build when we can’t figure things out on our own
• We  may become more and more withdrawn
• We may miss out on numerous opportunities because we can’t get past a hurdle or we don’t know how to move ahead

Possible resources to consider for help:

• Friends and Family
• Local Professionals
• Online Resources

Our worlds are so much larger now because of the internet. I know I’ve mentioned this before but the opportunities this represents for everyone with access to the web is mind boggling. Before computers, we needed to have physical accessibility to someone in order to get their help. Maybe a telephone call was feasible but that has limitations. Now, someone on the other side of the country, or the world, might be able to help.

Personally, when I finally decided it was time to do something with that manuscript sitting in my drawer, I joined Self-Publishing School, an online course designed for this very purpose. I remember feeling elated but sick to my stomach when I signed up online and entered my credit card number. This was by far the largest investment I’d ever made online. Would I regret it? Please understand, this was not a spur of the moment purchase. I’d researched and observed this company for two years before committing. Just like with anything else, it’s on us to do our homework and make sure things are legitimate. Now, a year and a half later, I have no regrets.

It takes courage to ask for help. As I continue on my journey of getting better at seeking help from others, I’ll try to keep these ten things in mind:

1. No one is perfect and everyone can benefit from asking for help. I’m no different from anyone else in this respect.
2. There are people out there who have made it their life’s work to learn all they can about an area where I might be struggling. I shouldn’t expect to be as proficient at something I’ve never studied as someone else that has already committed so much to learning all they can about a subject.
3. If someone has dedicated time and energy to learning how to do something and they can help me in that area, I will gladly pay them for their services. Together everyone benefits.
4. If I don’t know someone that can help, I can find someone that can help. They may be local or they may be online. Both sources of assistance can be beneficial.
5. I refuse to be afraid to try something new. Someone is out there that is willing to help me figure out all the pieces. It is up to me to find them and to ask.
6. Even if I’m scared to ask for help on something, I need to push through that fear and ask. What is the worst thing that can happen? If they can’t help me, someone else can.
7. It isn’t always fastest to do it myself!
8. Be open to seeking guidance and assistance in numerous areas of my life. For some reason, for example, I can easily ask for help with my finances but not my fitness.
9. Find ways to encourage others to be brave enough to ask for help when they need it.
10. I will pay it forward. How can I help others where they might be struggling? Where can I use my own life experiences to help others live a better life?

 
I have a challenge for you. Right now, before you do anything else, think about one area of your life where you are less than satisfied with things. Why is this? Do you feel stuck? Do you need encouragement or maybe even someone to help hold you accountable? Why not find that someone today? Nothing like the present! Live that life you truly deserve,   Kim

Is there something you’ve always wanted to try but haven’t? Or maybe there is something you used to enjoy doing but now life has gotten in the way and you don’t find the time for it anymore? I’m finding that pursuing those things can bring you so much more happiness than you ever expected.

Let me back up a minute.

This past week, I had the opportunity to meet a great group of women to talk about my book. One of their book club members has been a friend of mine for years. In fact, she was one of the very first people I ever told about my dream of someday writing a novel. When my book was released, she bought a stack of paperbacks, had me sign them, and gave them to friends and relatives. When a group of those friends took a winter trip to Hawaii, they sent me a picture. They were soaking up the warm sunshine—poolside—and posing with my book.

This was the group I spent my evening with on Tuesday. I only knew my one friend heading into the get-together but we all spent a fun couple of hours together. It was a beautiful summer evening, also spent poolside. We talked about different parts of the story, and they pointed out specific parts that resonated with them. I loved that these were some of my favorite parts, too; bits and pieces of the story that have stuck with me.      

It was evident to me how strong the bond is that these women share. They’ve raised their kids together. Now their kids are grown and having kids of their own. Their families remain close. How blessed they are.

During our chat, someone pointed out one of my favorite sections. I thought it would be fun to include this small snippet here from the letter Celia sends to Renee in the novel because it speaks to the point I’m trying to make in today’s post.

Don’t give all of your time and energy to your work and your children. Save enough of yourself so you have the strength and desire to forge strong relationships with people who will light your days and carry you through to your own sunset. Don’t depend on your children to do that for you. They need to build lives of their own.

These amazing women are doing this. They support their kids and their kid’s families but they also have strong bonds with each other, beyond the initial foundation of their friendship. My mom did this as well. She surrounded herself with a wonderful group of friends. People she could related to and had fun with, partly because they were at similar stages in life.

Making new friends and meeting people I have so much in common with wouldn’t have been possible if I didn’t take that deep breath and dive headfirst into this writing journey I’m now on. It is becoming such an awesome side benefit!

I want this for all of you, too. You will meet new people you share things with if you make the time to try new things. I think this is especially true if you are in a similar stage in life as I find myself in. The kids are still a very important part of our lives and keep us busy, but they also need their own space. I can either mope around about the fact they don’t need me as much as they used to, which I admit I still do on rare occasions, or I can pursue something I’m passionate about and meet new friends in the process. I can reconnect with old friends. I can take Celia’s advice and forge those relationships. So can you.

I would love to hear your stories of how you’ve added joy to your days through your friends. I heard hilarious stories on Tuesday evening but promised to change the names to protect the innocent if any of their experiences find their way into future story lines in my books!
​  
Thank you all for your friendship.   Kim