A wise man once counseled me to give it my best, every day, and to get comfortable with the belief that my best was enough. I was young and feeling overwhelmed in a new job where I would be responsible for leading a small team, some of whom had worked at the company for longer than I’d been alive. I felt extremely under qualified and, frankly, scared.

His small handful of words impacted me more than he could ever have anticipated. I like to think they became part of my DNA, and I try to draw on that guidance daily.

I bring this up today because, suddenly, we all find ourselves thrust into a scary new world. I’ve debated about even writing this post. With all of the fear, anxiety, and questions we all have over this worldwide pandemic, who am I to weigh in? But then I remembered my friend’s timeless advice.

The reality is we are all in uncharted territory here, and it’s damn scary. It doesn’t matter what differences might have separated us in the past. All we can do is be here for each other now, to offer kindness and compassion, and to take the precautionary measures being asked of us, even when those things feel hard to do.

Two weeks ago, I spent my Saturday morning in a coffee shop, doing something I love: working my way toward “The End” of my next book. When my brain was exhausted, I decided to treat myself to a shopping trip to Scheels, a fabulous retail store here in Fargo. I usually shop there for gifts for others and not for myself, but since I had an upcoming trip planned, I felt justified shopping for a new outfit, maybe even new comfortable shoes since we’d be doing lots of walking.  

Our two youngest kids were off at college, and the guys were processing deer sausage at our house, so I was enjoying some time to myself, out and about town, on a day that held the promise of spring.

Oh, the things we took for granted.

I wandered around the women’s clothing section that Saturday, picking things off the racks to try, but found myself at the checkout with two cute t-shirts and nothing else. I’d had higher hopes. Maybe I just wasn’t in the shopping mood. But it was still fun to browse.

Life as we know it has changed drastically since that relaxing Saturday afternoon, two weeks ago. I’m not going to attempt to reiterate all of those changes here. Some changes are universal to us all, and some are unique to each of us. We all have a different story, and every story matters.

Why do I mention a simple shopping trip when there is so much heartache in the world right now? Only because of the messages on the two t-shirts I picked up that day, having little clue what was in store for all of us:
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My hope is that we can find ways to bolster each other up during these scary, challenging times. It will take courage, compassion, and kindness. We already miss how things were in our past, and we aren’t sure what tomorrow holds, but we can try to give it our best today. “Our best” will look different for each of us.

Our house is quiet this morning. I’m alone for the first time in at least ten days, and it will only last for a few hours. 

Spring Break for our college freshman started a week ago Friday. A month ago, she’d been irritated by the fact some of her friends had travel plans, and she was destined to a dull week at home with her parents, tempered with planned time out with friends. If only her assumptions had played out that way!

I have the house to myself now because she signed up for a three-hour time slot during which she and one other person (a shout out to her dad!) could access her dorm room to empty it. She’ll complete the rest of her first year of college online. The university is staging the move out times to minimize contact with others. Good call. There will be no good-bye hugs with friends or roommates, and my heart hurts for all of them. But it is necessary.

As I sit in this quiet house, I try not to think about the cross-country trip I canceled to visit our daughter in graduate school out west. Today should have been a day trip to the ocean, maybe a winery or two, and most importantly, time together. All of that will have to wait. FaceTime talks will suffice for now, and though my heart aches to have her so far away during this scary time, I know we all must practice patience. 

Life is suddenly shifting in ways none of us have ever experienced, and the lessons our children are learning extend beyond the safety of structured classrooms and delivery by trained, dedicated teachers. We all have to find ways to help guide our kids as best we can during these turbulent times. We will learn together. 

Our world is changing quickly, and not only for the young. For everyone, work suddenly looks different. Blessed are the brave who work in health care. Those in the medical field will help see us through, but they need help. Others will do their best to keep necessary supply chains flowing and the streets safe. Some of us can work from home. Some jobs will evaporate, at least for now. Find the positive where you can. So many businesses are taking extraordinary measures and doing their best for both customers and employees. Not all companies will be able to weather this storm.

Have faith that we will come through this together. If we forget that life is a series of cycles, Mother Nature reminds us. We still have plenty of snow in our yards where I live, but the hardy tulips on the south side of our house have already made their annual spring appearance. I smile when I remember I transplanted some of those bulbs from my grandparent’s home. 
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Let’s find encouragement in the sense of comradery that is starting to shine again. My hope is we can all continue to foster these efforts to support each other, to let go of old expectations and previous definitions of “success” that now feel rather meaningless. 

Can I do anything to help support you? Please, reach out to me to share your thoughts, your feelings, your stories. None of us are experts at any of this, but we can be here for each other.

Today we can give it our best. Stay home if your work doesn’t require you to leave your house. Use the hours as best you can. Take care of your health and the health of those closest to you. And that means both physical and mental health. 

Prepare meals you haven’t had time to cook recently, making use of what you have on hand. Get some exercise. Did you know it’s possible to still get over 10,000 steps in a day, pacing around inside your house if necessary? We don’t have a treadmill, and we’ve had some frigid, windy days here in North Dakota, but I refuse to break my streak of daily walking, and it helps me feel better. Keep moving in whatever way you can!

Find the right balance of staying up-to-date on what you need to know to help stay safe and keep others safe, but DO NOT  inundate yourself with too much negativity. Stay connected with those that give you light and hope. Call friends and family. Tune out those that are reacting in fear or anger. Those people are scared, too. Be the light. Don’t contribute to the darkness. 

There are blessings hidden within these scary times. I challenge you to make it your mission today to find those blessings. Remember when you wished you had more time? 

Some of us now find ourselves with unstructured days. It can feel disconcerting to flip from having every hour filled to having time on our hands. Allow yourself the grace to acknowledge that feeling of discomfort, and then perhaps try something new. Or something you used to enjoy. Draw a picture. Bake some cookies using an old family-favorite recipe. Read a book. Watch a movie that makes you laugh out loud. Find a way to enjoy this pause.

This afternoon I’ll take a walk outside with our son. Having them living within walking distance is one of our blessings.  

Offer a kind word of support to those working incredibly hard, under scary conditions, to help us all. Know that we are all in this together. Enjoy today. Offer thanks and support. The world needs your bright light right now. We can get through this together and build a better world in the process.

Today is a gift. You are all a gift. 

​Always in your corner, Kim

​Are you a “New Year’s Resolution” kind of person? Did you start this new year with a list of goals to strive for, or do you prefer to take things as they come?

Personally, I know I accomplish more with a framework of goals as a guide, but like most people, I can lose focus and enthusiasm if my list is too long or it feels too overwhelming. Or if fear holds me back.

​And what if you think goal setting is too “woo woo” or a waste of time?

I think whichever camp you fall into, there is one small thing that every single one of us can do to help set ourselves up for success in the year ahead. You’ve maybe heard this idea before. It’s really very simple.

In fact, it can be as simple as three little letters. Or maybe a few more. Focus by picking just one specific word and let it be the driving force behind how you live your daily life.

I tried this for the first time a few years ago. I feared the year ahead would bring the most difficult challenges I’d ever faced, but I didn’t want that ugly truth to dictate how I felt every single day. I needed to try something, anything, that would help me get through the dark days ahead.

My word that year was “JOY.” It was the screensaver on my phone (and we all know how often we glance at our phones every day…). When hard things threatened to sweep all hints of happiness away, I’d remind myself to search for something, however small, that would help me feel joy.

Honestly, it helped. Was it the perfect antidote to the loss and sadness? Of course not. But it did help. Every single day there was something in my life that could give me joy. I just had to look a little harder some days for that “thing.”

As I’d suspected, it was a year of highs and lows, and not one I’d want to relive, but it wasn’t nearly as devoid of joy as I’d feared it might be at the beginning.

More recently, we had a last-minute opportunity to attend a Celine Dion concert. A friend had tickets he wasn’t able to use, so he offered them to my husband. I jumped at the chance to go but we laughed as we waited for the music to start, my husband pointing out how few men were in the audience. Was this the reason his friend had passed the tickets on to us?

I hadn’t even noticed the disparity. There was something else I couldn’t ignore. A bright neon sign sporting one single word kept drawing my eye to the still quiet stage: Courage.
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I’ve never considered myself to be an especially courageous person. I tend to worry about lots of things (if you know me, you might be snickering right now because this is probably a tad bit of an understatement). I know worry and fear hold me back.

That bright sign spoke to me. As I stared at the word courage, I came to the realization that I want to finally learn to live without the fear of failure holding me back. 
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This year, as we all enter this new decade together, I need a different word to guide me. I will dig deep and find the courage I know we all possess. I vow to step through, over, under, or around my fear and pursue those things I’ve been dreaming of incorporating into my life.

How about you? Is this the year, this beginning of a new decade, when you’ll fight your fear and do that thing you’ve always wanted to do, too? I’d love to have you on this journey with me.

If not now, when? Life is too short to wait.

And as so often happens, the universe provided me with yet another reminder that we all face the same circle of life. Our time is not unlimited. As I was putting the final touches on today’s post, I googled Celine to be sure I spelled her name correctly. I was saddened to discover that the singer, who brought tears to my eyes with her amazing talent during her concert, is mourning the recent loss of her own mother. You see, the year I had to specifically chose to focus on joy was the year I lost my beautiful mother to a terrible illness.

We all battle through similar losses in life, and we can all lift each other up in some way with our own innate talents. So let’s get on with it.    

Cheering alongside you and excited to see how high we can help each other climb. Let’s make this a year, and a decade, to remember.   Kim
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